I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
