Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
