I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
