i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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