im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
