He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
