You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
