and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
