the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
