There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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