i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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