Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
