wakey wakey hands off snakey
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
