covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Houston, we have a squirter
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
