did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I could fuck to npr.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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