You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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