Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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