Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the condom got lost in my hair
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
