she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
