i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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