I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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