Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
