what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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