i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
