we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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