i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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