walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
