i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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