dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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