i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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