Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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