How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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