girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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