so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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