Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
