just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
