I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
