I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
