oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
