Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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