i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
