so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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