I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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