it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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