One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
