whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
