Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
