Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think your dad took our porno
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
