You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
