Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
420 ftw
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
