Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
