All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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