I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
