i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His nipple licking is glorious
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