we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
