We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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