I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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