im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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