Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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