we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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