I want to make a zoo with you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize
